How Can I Have an Intimate Relationship With Jesus?
Earlier I met my husband, I was so bellyaching by people with boyfriends. They spent all their time together, talking nonstop, always considering what the other person wanted or thought. It was confusing, though. Because while I was annoyed past it and idea they were a picayune odd, I couldn't assist but want what they had! As much as these relationships were foreign to me, I was jealous of the connection I saw.
Fast forrard twenty+ years and I found myself in a very similar position. This time, though, information technology wasn't a human relationship I was jealous for. It was a relationship with Jesus.
Questions
I was asking myself the same questions that haunted me as a immature adult female. How was it that my friends and colleagues had these amazing relationships that seemed so distant to me?
What did they exercise that I so obviously didn't that made these relationships possible?
Was in that location something incorrect with me?
Just on the other hand…didn't it seem weird how close they were? They talked to Jesus all the fourth dimension! And and so, weirdest of all, they told me how Jesus talked to them! How was that even possible?
In one case again, I constitute myself jealous of something I didn't understand, still wanted desperately.
Growing
In the past year or and then, I've been on quite a journeying of growth. I knew that, for my emotional sake and the sake of my faith, I needed to figure out what this was all virtually. The more I've opened up to others, the more I have plant that my questions aren't uncommon. A lot of my friends desire to know the same matter.
I take grown up. I am comfortable in Catholicism. But the Person of Jesus escapes me.
Does that mean my faith isn't as strong equally it should be? Is it non every bit adept every bit this friend'southward or that mentor'southward?
Does God not dearest me as much as He does these other people?
The answers I am only beginning to uncover every bit I continue on my organized religion journey are rocking me. And I have a priest whose proper name I never even knew to thank for it.
Shine
In September of 2019, I attended the Smooth retreat in Nashville. I was in that location with some friends and with my mom and, while I didn't know exactly what God would exercise in that weekend, I remember having a feeling of unsure expectation. Something was coming, just what would it be? Would it fifty-fifty exist for me? Or would one of these women I loved be touched in a meaningful way?
The talks that weekend all centered around light. The light that is Jesus shines into our darkness and cannot be overcome. Jesus wants to be and to bring that light in each of our lives, regardless of the darkness we carry.
Time and over again, these beautiful women who spoke said phrases similar…
"God said to me in prayer…"
"Then, Jesus told me…"
"I heard the Spirit say to me…"
I have to be honest, those comments tore me apart.
There were those aforementioned questions I had been request myself for ages, rearing their ugly heads again. What was incorrect with me that God didn't talk to me? What did these women have that I didn't? I wanted Jesus, so where was He?!
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Confession
Midway through the Saturday of the retreat, we were offered the opportunity to become to Confession. Naturally, I took it! Hundreds of retreatants lined upwards in the beautiful cathedral, praying the Rosary together every bit nosotros waited our turn to unburden ourselves. Scattered around the church were about 15 wonderful young priests, gear up and waiting in persona Christi to offering u.s.a. forgiveness and renewal.
When my turn came, I sat down in the pew next to a young priest. We began and he gave me infinite to confess my sins. What came pouring out of my mouth, though, instead of the litany of wrongs I had done, were all of these questions I had been asking myself all weekend!
And that wonderful man just let me get. He listened, nodded, even commented that he had asked himself some of the same questions earlier! And when I had exhausted all of my energy and longing, he quietly said something I will never forget.
Information technology is good that you want this deeper relationship with Jesus. There is a special grace in the wanting. Merely your relationship with Him won't and shouldn't look like anybody else'south relationship with Him. He wants to love you in a way that is unique to you.
Revelation
Truly, you could've knocked me over with a feather.
God does desire a human relationship with me! And He knows me well enough and loves me and then completely that the relationship we have is supposed to wait dissimilar than anybody else'due south.
And then maybe He does speak to others then that they tin discern His voice. He also knows I would call up I'd lost my heed if He did that to me.
Perchance He shares Himself in big, ostentatious ways with people who have big, ostentatious faiths. Simply He as well knows that my faith is like a dull burn, quietly unassuming, merely always there. He knows that He needs to approach my heart quietly and subtly.
Yep, sisters, this was my experience, but the message is for all of united states. And I don't want you lot to forget it, so I'll say information technology once more.
God does want a relationship with you! And He knows you well plenty and loves you so completely that the relationship you lot accept together is supposed to wait different than everyone else's relationship with Him.
And if y'all don't feel that relationship yet? Lean in. There is grace in the wanting.
A Prayer
Here's a prayer I wrote in my periodical that day. It's 1 that I proceed to sit down with every fourth dimension I experience lone or lost; every time I see Jesus in Admiration.
Jesus, I want a existent relationship with you. Assistance me to put bated my pride and jealousy of what others have. Let the love You shower on me bring me peace and joy. Let it form in me a new identity, secure in who I am to You lot and through Y'all. And, from there, make clear my mission in this globe and help me accomplish it. Amen.
Can yous relate to this kind of longing? How has Jesus brought you closer to Him in unique ways?
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Source: https://blessedisshe.net/blog/grace-wanting-unique-intimate-relationship-jesus/
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